TOOLS FOR A NEW YOU

Do you want to take back control over your thoughts, feelings, actions, relationships and life?
In this posting I will discuss: Tools for a new you; What you do you want to be; Tools, training and techniques;Useful links and references .

TOOLS FOR A NEW YOU 
If you walk across a map you might put footprints on it but you will not get your feet wet. Whereas if you attempted to walk across the Atlantic you would probably drown. A picture of your best friend is simply a picture, it is not your best friend. A photograph of a cake my look delicious but you cannot eat it.

Despite this all these things are useful. The map may help you navigate to you your friends house, the picture may remind you of a special event and the photograph in the recipe book may show you what the birthday cake you want to make will look like. So, despite these things not being ‘real’ they are valuable as tools.

I want this to be a toolkit of maps, pictures and ideas that you can use to get you where you want to go, to experience the events you want to live and become the person you want to be.

WHAT YOU DO YOU WANT TO BE? 
You may be a collection of hands, feet, body and head with fingers and toes and hair in various amounts and styles. If you were to cut your hair you would still be you. If you were to lose your hand or foot it may be traumatic, but you would still be you. You are not the physical body.

You may be happy one day and sad on another. Something might get you really angry whereas something else may make you laugh. You are not Mr Angry or Mrs Sad, or Miss Happy or Baby Laughter. These are just feelings that come and go with circumstances.

So, what are the circumstances: is it because it is sunny or raining, frustrating or funny? Is it because of work, home, them or us? Or it is because of what we are thinking.

We can be thinking happy thoughts, which trigger happy feelings, which make us dance and sing in the rain. We could be thinking gloomy thoughts, which trigger sadness or frustration, which make us sulky or sullen even on a beautiful day.

But we can also choose our thoughts: we can think about the past or the future; we can think about people, places or ideas. If we can direct our thoughts like a film director can direct an actor we can make the scene happy or sad, frightening or funny.

You are not just physical, you can change physical elements and still be you.
You are not a feeling, you can manage emotions.
You are not a thought, you can direct them.

With attention and focus we can control thinking, feeling, behaviour and the impact these have on ourselves, other people and circumstances. Indeed, with some learned techniques of self-control and some useful maps, pictures and ideas you can transform your world and possibly other people’s too.

If you are wondering “So what am I if I am not physical, emotional, thoughts?” that is a good question which is beyond this book but certainly worthy of your thinking. Indeed, pursuing the answer to that may be as challenging as walking across the ocean.

In the meantime, you can become the screen writer and movie director for your own life and you can tell the actor (which is you) how to think, feel, behave and what to do and react for each and every scene of your life. You can make this movie (your life) an action drama, a tragedy or a comedy or something else.

I simply want to give you the tools, training and techniques to be a great screen writer and movie director for your own life. What you do with those skills is up to you.

Oh and if you find yourself walking across the ocean get in touch, I’d love to know how you do that.

TOOLS, TRAINING AND TECHNIQUES 
So, what are the tools, training and techniques? I will draw upon a variety of sources from neuro-linguistic programming (NLP) to models in business and leadership.

Neuro-linguistic programming (NLP) is a psychological approach that involves analyzing strategies used by successful individuals and applying them to reach a personal goal. It relates thoughts, language, and patterns of behavior learned through experience to specific outcomes. 

These are the presuppositions of NLP

1) The map is not the territory. (People respond to their ‘map’ of reality, not to reality itself. How people make sense of the world around them is through their senses and from their own personal experience; this means that each individual’s perception of an event is different).

2) Have respect for the other person’s model of the world. (We are all unique and experience the world in different ways. Everyone is individual and has their own special way of being).

3) Mind and body form a linked system. (Your mental attitude affects your body and your health and, in turn, how you behave).

4) If what you are doing isn’t working, do something else. (Flexibility is the key to success).

5) Choice is better than no choice. (Having options can provide more opportunities for achieving results).

6) We are always communicating. (Even when we remain silent, we are communicating. Non-verbal communication can account for a large proportion of a message).

7) The meaning of your communication is the response you get. (While your intention may be clear to you, it is the other person’s interpretation and response that reflects your effectiveness. NLP teaches you the skills and flexibility to ensure that the message you send equals the message they receive).

8) There is no failure, only feedback. (What seemed like failure can be thought of as success that just stopped too soon. With this understanding, we can stop blaming ourselves and others, find solutions and improve the quality of what we do).

9) Behind every behaviour there is a positive intention. (When we understand that other people have some positive intention in what they say and do (however annoying and negative it may seem to us), it can be easier to stop getting angry and start to move forward).

10) Anything can be accomplished if the task is broken down into small enough steps. (Achievement becomes easier if activities are manageable; NLP can help you learn how to analyse what needs to be done and find ways to be both efficient and effective).

Business and Leadership provides a rich set of models, guides and checklists that can help mission, vision, values, aims, goals and tasks. Indeed there is obvious overlap between tasks, goals and strategy (from business) and anything can be accomplished if the task is broken down into small enough steps (for NLP)

USEFUL LINKS AND REFERENCES 
Presuppositions of NLP
https://anlp.org/knowledge-base/presuppositions-of-nlp