AdaptBookofCoaching

This is a series of coaching blogs that eventually will become a book. By blogging each item I hope to share each element in easy to read bite size chunks, maybe invite some people to subscribe to see the next posting and hopefully encourage some comments, feedback and suggestions which will improve the content for the blog and eventually the book. All comments and feedback are therefore welcome. Right at the bottom you'll see details to subscribe by email or receive coaching.

BE A BETTER YOU - OVERCOMING THE BARRIERS TO CHANGE

BE A BETTER YOU OVERCOMING THE BARRIERS TO CHANGE

SOME THEORY

William Bridges wrote about his life and value changing experiences, developing a transition model, when he retired from work. In short, the model identifies three stages people go through as they gradually enter and accept the new organisational landscape. The model mainly focuses on psychological change during the transitions between each stage.

Elisabeth Kubler-Ross in her 1969 book talked about the stages of grief. This has been recognised by many as equally applying to our reaction to change.

Denial The first reaction is denial.
Anger : When the individual recognizes that denial cannot continue
Bargaining : The third stage involves the hope that the individual can avoid the situation
Depression : I'm so sad, why bother with anything?
Acceptance : It's going to be okay. I can't fight it I may as well prepare for it.

Viktor Frankl argued that we cannot avoid suffering but we can choose how to cope with it, find meaning in it, and move forward with renewed purpose. Frankl's theory-known as logotherapy, from the Greek word logos (meaning)-holds that our primary drive in life is not pleasure, as Freud maintained, but the discovery and pursuit of what we personally find meaningful.

Julian B. Rotter in 1954, came up with the concept of a Locus of control: The degree to which people believe that they, as opposed to external forces (beyond their influence), have control over the outcome of events in their lives

Stephen Karpman suggested in the Drama Triangle that we get to choose a role.

The Victim: The Victim's stance is Poor me!
The Rescuer: The rescuer's line is Let me help you.
The Persecutor: (in this case Coronavirus, or Government or Conspiracy)

OK THATS THE THEORY WHAT DOES IT MEAN?

Many people are valued for what they do rather than who they are. This is partly western culture and as much about how we valued ourselves as how society or employers value us. Under these circumstances being sent home with not enough to do may impact our sense of self-worth. The uncertainty, plus lack of control may create anxiety.

A lack of tasks or content in our day may create boredom or distress which we can resolve by filling with activity which may be constructive (hobbies or chores around the home) or destructive (excessive drinking, eating or social media). Being jobless (or simply without enough work to do) may make us feel useless and thus meaningless leading to depression, aggression or addiction.

A remedy may be to change your mindset from being without work to being on holiday. With a new angle of perception, we may find better pastimes to pass the time. Or to change our role within the existing context from Victim to Rescuer and take part in any of the voluntary on-line or off-line efforts to help people.

Frankl argued that we cannot simply be happy, any more than we can snap out of being depressed. The challenge instead is to find meaning, a reason to be happy: A cause (or a person) to serve.

My view is that it is better to be the captain of your ship rather than the crew of someone else and therefore better to pursue meaningful tasks to your own ends of none are forthcoming from your boss, spouse, family or community.

SO WHAT DOES THIS MEAN FOR ME?

Take control and set-up some habits and routines for yourself. You dont have to be good at it to enjoy it and you will enjoy it once you get good at it. The real secret is not so much the habits (which should be positive) but the fact that you are taking charge of them.

As noted by Elisabeth Kubler-Ross you will go through periods of frustration and doubt but these are just sign-posts on the journey and not the destination. Remember it is you who is in control and decides what role to play.

REFERENCES AND LINKS

William Bridges transition model
https://www.toolshero.com/change-management/bridges-transition-model/

Elisabeth Kbler-Ross stages of grief
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/K%C3%BCbler-Ross_model

Viktor Frankl
https://www.amazon.com/Mans-Search-Meaning-Viktor-Frankl/dp/080701429X

Drama Triangle
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Karpman_drama_triangle

Locus of Control
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Locus_of_control

ABOUT THIS BLOG AND BOOK

CONTACT
TimHJRogers
AdaptConsultingCompany
TimHJRogers@AdaptConsulting

FREE COACHING

Are you interested in FREE one-to-one coaching for personal growth and performance?

I am studying to become EMCC / ILM7 qualified coach. As part of the training I am required to demonstrate the ability to plan, deliver and review at least 18 hours of coaching and mentoring in the workplace. So I am looking for willing volunteers to be ‘guinea pigs’ for me as an experienced but not yet qualified coach.

WHAT IS INVOLVED

When: From April 2020 to July 2020
How often: Three face-to-face coaching sessions
Time: Typically, each coaching session will last 60 to 90 minutes
Location: The meetings will be arranged at a location convenient to you, and can be done using Skype, GoogleHangouts, Zoom or aa variety of other video platforms.

The sort of things people typically bring along are – leadership skills, delegating work, improving communication, conflict, assertiveness, developing your career, influencing and time management. This is by no means an exhaustive list.

The job of the coach is to ask questions and to listen, guiding the coachee to draw on his or her resources and talents and to devise solutions for him or herself. Coaching is not about giving advice and your coach does not need to be an ‘expert’ in your area of work (in fact, it is often better if he or she is not an expert).

All the discussions will be anonymised and kept confidential

COACHING CREDENTIALS

From the text below I hope you can see that I don’t just ‘talk’ but actually have the life experience of personal, athletic, business and change challenges. I know about mission, vision, aims, goals, tasks and habits. But I also have the experience of supporting others achieve either as a performance coach or project leader helping people and organisations achieve their goals either as athletes on the podium or CEOs winning the IoD Director of the Year.

The Coach Practitioner level qualification (EMCC Practitioner EQA level) is for anyone involved in coaching/mentoring, whether it’s just one part of their role or it’s their main function. The course runs over 9 months, and includes 4 modules of training, interspersed with group and co-supervision. Delegates will complete a portfolio of evidence and reflective writing.

ABOUT ME

So what is my experience in performance and personal and business change?

I left school with basic o-levels but through distance learning achieved an NVQ4, Certificate, NVQ5, and Diploma in Management before going on to an MBA (Management Consultancy), and Post-Grads in Law (EC Competition Law) and International Compliance. I am also a former Chartered Member of the British Computer Society.

I am an experienced athlete taking part in two Island Games and Commonwealth Games (2006) as a Triathlete and World Championships for Coastal Rowing, becoming GB Coastal Champion with rowing partner Ricky Rouille in 2017. I was Athletes Representative for the Commonwealth Games in 2014 and am also a qualified Personal Trainer and Level 2 Coach in Rowing.

Having learned the hard way (through distance learning) I am passionate about teaching and learning and a Tutor/Mentor for the Chartered Management Institute. I was founder of ciChange.org and then curator for TEDxStHelier.Com and participant in TEDGlobal in Geneva (2015)

I have had the good fortune to be an agent for business change being an APMG Change Practitioner, PRINCE2 Project Manager and Scrum Manager. Transformation projects include ‘commercailising’ the Post Office, Harbours and Airport from public-sector to private businesses.

I am also an advocate for social change and a former Chair for the Pharmaceutical Benefits Advisory Committee and an independant member of the Public Accounts Committee