BE A BETTER YOU 6 STEPS AND 3 QUOTES TO BE THE CAPTAIN OF YOUR SHIP
I often use the phase: Are you the captain of your ship or the crew of someone elses.
KEY THOUGHTS
All credit to Positive Neil for the observations below, although they are my interpretation of based on my recollection of what he said and my own experience.
Quote: Anger is not a cloud that you want into. It is a thought that creates action and experience. You can choose that thought. The ability to choose, to control, is medication.
This is a great quote and links directly to the Ladder of Inference How to Avoid Jumping to Conclusions (link below) and how we can choose how to infer and respond to people and events.
It also says something about the locus of control: the degree to which people believe that they have control over the outcome of events in their lives, as opposed to external forces beyond their control.
I liked these practical tips
Step 1>> Dont start worrying about the stress on your mind until you have sorted out the foundations like: Have you drunk enough water had enough sleep ate the right foods done some exercise etc.
This is good advice because if you are already physically stressed then it seems unlikely or impossible that you are in a good position to start dealing with mental stress. I highly recommend The Organized Mind, Thinking Straight in the Age of Information Overload by Levitin, Daniel J. , if you want to understand the neuroscience of this.
Step 2>> Find the time, some time for just you. It may be at dawn, lunchtime, dusk, when caught in a queue or a traffic jam, but find some time to check-in with yourself.
As a former athlete with a full-time job I am used to being up at 5am, in the pool by 6:30am and at my desk by 8:45am. In Jersey in particular there is no commute like London and there is no reason not to carve out the start, middle and end of the day to do something more productive. We all get 24 hours. How do you use yours.
I am always amazed by people who have no time, but do have a smart-phone, TV, and lots of distractions which take time but dont give growth.
Step 3>> Have routine tasks and get these done so that your chores are done and you are free to think about important things rather than urgent things.
I believe routine habits are essential. There is a lot of trash said about motivation. You dont wake at 5am every day because you are motivated, you do it because it is part of a habit, routine or regime that is geared towards your goal. You may start with motivation, but you keep going with habit!
Step 4>> Meditate. If you have done all the above you are in a good state to be mindful, reflective, meditative.
I know from Glenda Rivoallen PhD Mindfulness for Entrepreneurs, that I cannot blank my head, empty my thoughts, or erase my feelings. By I can direct my focus. I can think about how my arms, legs, lungs feel as I swim, bike or run. I can study a rock-face and think about the best route to climb. I can feel the breeze on my face or the water that laps around my feet. So this is my version of mindfulness.
The key thing is that for those moments I am not thinking about someone, something, somewhere that I need to be, do, see.
Step 5>> Relationships. Make time to spend time with the right and important people.
As an athlete or entrepreneur success is heavily linked to being selfish and single minded. Without doubt the scales may be heavily tipped against relationships or friendships. However try to do enough to keep these alive. Dont loose touch. Even a phone call, coffee, email, skype is enough to maintain the correction if not nurture the relationship.
Clearly it would be better to have strong relationships that bring joy, happiness and support and these are worth investing and cultivating but it would be nave to suggest that this is easy for everyone.
Step 6>> Life. Get all the above more or less right, an repeat each day, for the rest of your life making tiny improvements each day.
When asked about lessons from the Commonwealth Games or World Champs Rowing Ive always offered the following quotes
Quote1 >> 80% of life is just turning up Woody Allen
I just turn up, to every training session, to every lesson, to every meeting. It's amazing what your learn, who you meet and how you improve by just turning up.
Quote2 >> Do exactly what is says on the tin Ronseal
Life often is just doing the obvious: eat, sleep, drink, think. Every weight loss programme. Every training regime. Every qualification is simply a matter of do this, then that, then the other. Everything is obvious in the world of google. The challenge is doing it.
Quote3 >> If you can fill the unforgiving minute With sixty seconds worth of distance run, Yours is the Earth and everything thats in it, Andwhich is moreyoull be a Man, my son! By Rudyard Kipling
We all have the same 24 hours, how do you use yours?
REFERENCE
Positive Neil
https://www.positiveneil.com/
This is a series of coaching blogs that eventually will become a book. By blogging each item I hope to share each element in easy to read bite size chunks, maybe invite some people to subscribe to see the next posting and hopefully encourage some comments, feedback and suggestions which will improve the content for the blog and eventually the book. All comments and feedback are therefore welcome. Right at the bottom you'll see details to subscribe by email or receive coaching.
-
BE A BETTER YOU - CHANGE YOUR HABITS AND YOU CHANGE YOUR LIFE Below are some observations from Habit Stacking: 127 Small Changes to Impr...
-
In this posting I will discuss the use of different perspectives, even sitting in a different chair, may open up more choices for better ou...
-
BE A BETTER YOU 6 STEPS AND 3 QUOTES TO BE THE CAPTAIN OF YOUR SHIP I often use the phase: Are you the captain of your ship or the crew ...
-
Do you want to take back control over your thoughts, feelings, actions, relationships and life? In this posting I will discuss: Tools for a...
-
In this posting I will discuss how to review failures as feedback, understand how to chunk problems and build learning. FAILURE AND FEED...
-
In this posting I will discuss how we make best use of all the resources that are available to us to achieve the outcomes that we want. ...
-
In this posting I will discuss the best of intentions and how behaviour needs to be understood from the perspective experience (of the pas...
-
In this posting I will discuss how we communicate with ourselves (the thoughts in your head) and how that affects communication with others ...
-
REFLECTIONS FROM THE BOOK HUMBLE INQUIRY THE GENTLE ART OF ASKING INSTEAD OF TELLING EDGAR H. SCHEIN Humble Inquiry The Gentle Art of A...
-
In this posting I will discuss a well-worn phrase The Map is not the Territory and explain as a similar simpler a menu is not the same as a ...